Safe As Full Houses

The new Bruce Willis movie is being advertised as this decade's version of The Matrix... which I suppose is better than advertising it as yet another Bruce Willis movie.

But why is this selling of something as something that you already know so necessary?

What, you might ask, is the point of making a movie of The Sweeney... when the original can't be improved on? Why make a movie of The Edge of Darkness?

Why re-make The War of the Worlds? Or Batman? Or Anna Karenina?

And why on earth would you want to make stage shows of movies that people have already seen? Or stage shows that reproduce dead musicians in performance?

The simple answer is money. And they say no one ever failed to make money by underestimating the public's intelligence.

People spending money and people making money generally don't want to take any chances. So they sell and buy things that they know have already done the business.

Whatever happened to danger?

When In Rome

I've been away. I'm back. I went to Rome to coincide with my close friend, an American naturopathic physician, who was touring Italy. He's not been well lately and neither of us is getting younger, so I had the feeling it might be the last time we would meet.

It was an emotional reunion, as expected. But what I didn't expect was for him to notice a small patch on my skin and volunteer a diagnosis of actinic keratosis — a pre-cancerous lesion.

My doctor has just confirmed my friend was right, and I will have it treated. It was a good job that I went to Rome... on more than one level.

It might have been my last meeting with a dear friend. But then again, it might not. We agreed that we could meet again in five years' time, in India. If we're both still here...

As BB King said: "There is always one more time..."

Dark Star

It has just been revealed that Michael Jackson was "an emotionally paralysed mess". It has also just been revealed that the Pope is most likely a Catholic, and bears have been known to... well, you get the idea.

Promoters, emails have shown, feared that Jacko was in such a terrible state that he wouldn't be able to carry off his string of comeback concerts. Which he didn't.

But hadn't we all suspected for some time that he was an EPM? He was, at his peak, one of the most phenomenal musicians, singers and dancers ever seen. And as is so often the case, the EPM was surely part of that formidable package; that splurge of genius had to come from somewhere pretty dark...

Good, Bad Or Ugly?

According to much media reporting, Clint Eastwood made a bit of a fool of himself with his "empty chair" routine for the Republicans.

But if you watch his act, you may find it was refreshingly direct and even rather amusing. The idea that it was ill received certainly does not seem to be borne out by the reactions of a deliriously supportive audience.

The knock-'em-down media got it wrong. Clint's performance wasn't bad, but his decision to put his considerable weight behind Mitt Romney does seem disappointing. And that, long-term, is what may make him look foolish.