An Odyssey in the Second Year of the Plague – The Maltese Sanction

A map... and a rather good one

Weird a place as it is, I've always had a soft spot for Malta... and so of course does the British government.

The latter says it's now fine for tourists to visit the former.

But hold on... Malta says it's only fine if they can prove they have had two vaccinations. And – here's the rub – the proof has to be in a letter, not on a smartphone. That's a piece of paper! Not some app-based thing.

Not possessing a smartphone, I made sure to take a letter with me to Ithaca this month.

Wouldn't it be rather wonderful if the ubiquity of the smartphone began to fade just a little bit?

We might then see tourists using maps instead of walking around staring at their phones... or looking about them at their surroundings... or even talking to local people to ask them the way.

Congratulations to Malta, which is reported as saying: “From 30 June 2021, all arrivals from the UK need to present proof of full vaccination (two doses). Only the paper version of the NHS Covid vaccination letter, with subject ‘Coronavirus (COVID-19) vaccination confirmation: two doses received’, will be accepted, not the digital app version, nor a printout from the digital app.”

An Odyssey in the Second Year of the Plague – I'm with Joan Collins

I don't have that much in common with Joan Collins... But both of us do seem to have had run-ins with what she complains of in the Daily Mail as the "Covid Stasi".

I know what she means. I started my 10-days of quarantine on 24 June and soon had a phone call from someone telling me all about quarantine – i.e. what I already knew. They told me that the information in the phone call would be shared with "other bodies" and was I ok with that?

"Which other bodies?"

"I don't know. But you can find out on the Home Office website."

"But that would be a bit late... since I would have to do that after this call..."

"Er..."

"Look let's go ahead."

"I just have to ask you a couple of questions."

"Ok but I am busy working. Can we do it quickly?"

Four questions later...

"Er, you said a couple of questions... That's already four. How many more of them are there? I have told you I'm busy..."

She said nothing further and hung up.

On Day 3, a Saturday, I was woken around 9am by a man knocking at my door. I half-opened it to find a man with a mask half-on, half-off his face, saying he was from Track and Trace and did I have photo-ID. I explained that I had literally just got out of bed and that I was completely naked. Obviously I did not have photo-ID to hand. He then disappeared from view, saying nothing.

"Are you still there?" I asked.

He reappeared.

"I'm just reporting what you have said," he said.

"So have we done?"

"Yes."

I phoned 119 to complain about the way this whole thing had been handled and was kept hanging on for 45 minutes before speaking to someone. They apologised and said that it shouldn't have been handled like this and it wouldn't happen again.

On Day 5, it happened again. Except this time the knock at the door came at just after 8am – and again it woke me up.

It was another man and this time wearing no mask on his face at all (instead he had it round his neck).

I asked who he was. He did not give me his name or show any identification (like the previous one) but said he was from Track and Trace. I asked him why he wasn't wearing his mask. He said he didn't need to. This was despite the fact that he was inside my block of flats. 

I told him that I was quarantining and that he should put on his mask straightaway, otherwise I could not talk to him. He told me again that he did not need to wear a mask, and demanded to see photo-ID. I told him that I was stark naked as I had just got out of bed and that I could not deal with him if he did not put on his mask. He did not put on his mask and instead said that he would report me for not being at home – when I clearly was at home.

I then called 119 yet again. I got through fairly quickly, explained what I wanted to complain about and was asked to hold – for a long time. Eventually the call handler came back and said he had spoken to his manager and that I would be reported to the local authority. I tried to speak further and he hung up on me... this seems to be a fairly standard modus operandi at 119.

Undeterred, I called 119 again and this time got a sympathetic call handler who said this shouldn't have been handled like this and that the person knocking on my door should have worn a mask. She apologised and gave me an email for the Department of Health so that I could make an official complaint.

I immediately wrote to the Department of Health, pointing out that this behaviour was totally unacceptable and mentioning that, unlike the recently departed Secretary of State for Health, I had been abiding by the rules. I also asked: how can Track and Trace be employing people who don't follow the most basic rules of hygiene? And how can such people be allowed to threaten someone who IS abiding by the rules with being lied about to the authorities?

As yet – surprisingly – there has been no response.

For many reasons I need to pass my two quarantine covid tests and get back to doing what I do. I can't afford to have some unmasked (and also rude and aggressive) quasi-Stasi forcing me to have a doorstep conversation with them.

Dame Joan, I am with you all the way on this...

An Odyssey in the Second Year of the Plague – Siren

Siren                             ©Nigel Summerley

 

There seems to be a lot of interest in unidentified flying objects just now. So here's a UFO spotted a while back off the west coast of Italy...

It's my idea of a Siren... and it could be my ticket back to Ithaca once more... since it's been accepted for the Paint The Lyric exhibition set to take place there this September [see this blog An Odyssey in the Second Year of the Plague – Paint The Lyric, 22 February 2021].

Half-woman and half-bird or half-woman and half-fish? And why do some stories say Odysseus encountered two Sirens and other versions say three Sirens? 

Perhaps there is just one answer to all these questions... and this could be it...

An Odyssey in the Second Year of the Plague – The Most Dangerous Place

Only two places felt dangerous on my recently completed odyssey – the ascent of sheer cliffs on the way up to the summit of Korakos Petra on Ithaca [see this blog An Odyssey in the Second Year of the Plague – The Big One, 15 June 2021]... and the arrivals hall at London Heathrow.

In the former there was a real risk of falling and breaking my neck... in the latter there seemed to be an even more real risk of picking up covid. The difference in the two situations was that in the first I had some control over what happened to me... in the other I had none.

Exhortations to keep socially distanced rang hollow in a huge cavern of a building where planeloads of people from all over the place were forced into zigzags of queueing pens where movement was slow or non-existent.

We shuffled about the place for an hour and 20 minutes before finally getting to the exit. I can't illustrate the awfulness of the queueing situation because we were forbidden to take pictures.

The lines eventually led to a row of four or five (I can't be sure because it was difficult to see them properly through the hundreds of passengers) UK Border officers who were grilling individuals, presumably about their covid documentation.

Things only started to move a bit when all four (or five) of them went on a break at the same time. This allowed us to press on through to the automated passport readers – a quite different kind of hell.

When I finally got to one of these, an official behind me told me to get through as quickly as possible and not cause delays – which seemed a bit pot-and-kettle.

It might have been better if she had admonished the robot readers. Since two of them in succession failed to let me pass. I asked her for help but was told: "Go to Desk 36." This appeared to be the Heathrow equivalent of the naughty step.

I waited at Desk 36 for some time and then – when it was free – the official there told me to wait because she was having to re-start her computer. I never did see it start again.

Instead I was finally allowed to go to another desk. 

The man behind me (also sentenced to Desk 36 punishment) observed: "They've given you a difficult time."

"Yes," I said. "It's great to be back in the UK."

"I've just been travelling through Bangladesh and Egypt," he said, "and I've not seen anything to match the chaos here."

Eventually, he and I both escaped. We had been warned to have passport, proof of a negative covid test, passenger locator form, and an invoice for quarantine covid tests.

In my case only the first two of these four were checked... but the UK Border Force had succeeded in keeping countless people penned up together with no real possibility of social distancing for the best part of 90 minutes.

"Welcome to GREAT Britain" shouted the posters at every turn... 

An Odyssey in the Second Year of the Plague – Back to the End

A midsummer night's dream... on Petraki

At the end of last year's six-week trip around the Odyssean sites of Greece and Italy I found myself staying on the night of my 70th birthday in a great hotel just off Syntagma Square in central Athens [see this blog An Odyssey in the Year of the Plague – 13: 29 September - 4 October 2020].

On the last night of this year's mini-odyssey Odysseus' Island writer Jane Cochrane invited me to join her and a Greek cousin of her late husband for dinner.

We all met at the Syntagma tram stop... and then the cousin led us to a restaurant she had chosen for the occasion, in the very same street as – and just across the way from – that excellent hotel I had stayed in in 2020.

It was an almost-too-good-to-be-true coincidence and it made a lovely farewell evening even more emotional.

That hotel in Petraki Street, by the way, used to be called the Athens La Strada. Now it's changed its name to the Villa Brown Ermou.

A year brings many changes of course... but will covid continue to be with us? And will there be An Odyssey in the Third Year of the Plague?

An Odyssey in the Second Year of the Plague – Great Britain?

I used to know someone who was – to put it mildly – unattractive. I don't want to use the word ugly. He had awful skin, was extremely overweight and smelt terrible from chain-smoking. But he thought he was good-looking – and behaved totally as if he was irresistible.

For some reason I remembered him when I was thinking about Britain.

Because I was having to face dealing with things British again... after three weeks in Greece.

In Greece I needed to get a covid test. I called a nearby Bioiatriki clinic, they made an appointment for exactly the time I needed it, I showed up on time, they tested me, they promised the result within 24 hours, and they sent it to me within 12 hours. They were efficient, polite and helpful – and even spoke perfect English.

Compare and contrast... I had to sign up to the British government's ridiculous 10-day quarantine package (coming from a country with no significant covid problem to the covid-ridden UK!) and tests on days two and eight with one of the companies on the Foreign Office's website.

I gave the company – 1010 Labs – details of when I would be arriving back – from which they should be able to deduce when days two and eight would be. And after I'd handed over nearly £130, they then informed me that the first kit was on its way to my home the following day... ie two days before I would be there to receive it.

I emailed five times (and had no reply) and finally phoned them... to no avail. The call handler I spoke to – who didn't appear to me to understand the problem of delivering a covid test to someone who wouldn't be there to receive it but would probably have to break quarantine to go to a post office to pick it up – didn't seem to me to comprehend or to speak English that well.

She promised she would report the issue. She promised someone would call me back. So far, I'm still waiting...

Global Britain? Give me a break...

An Odyssey in the Second Year of the Plague – Cyclades

Much as I have come to love Ithaca... I have missed not being able to take in the Cyclades on this latest trip.

Some of my happiest travelling times have been in those wonderful islands: especially Kythnos, Kimolos, Serifos,  Sifnos, Iraklia, Amorgos, Schinoussa, Delos, Syros, Tinos, Andros... all of them have their own special magic.

So the next best thing was a visit to the Museum of Cycladic Art in Athens. It was filled with sculptures of unparallelled simple beauty – but not (thanks to the covid plague) filled with visitors.

As with some of the remoter Cyclades, all the marvels on show seemed to be there as a gift just for me.

An Odyssey in the Second Year of the Plague – Play Time

 

A drum break in Athens

All this odysseying can leave little time for music practice... and – pandemic permitting – I have to play some jazz when I get back to the UK.

So I was fortunate to discover Artworks Studios at Elliniko in southern Athens, not far from where I have been staying.

It had an excellent set of Gabriel drums which I was able to put to good use for a couple of three-hour sessions that helped stop me feeling so rusty.

I have no hesitation in recommending this excellent place.

The masked drummer

An Odyssey in the Second Year of the Plague – A Modern-Day Homer

 

Andronikos Sakkatos

Athens has many attractions... but for me, this time, perhaps the greatest was to meet again with Andronikos Sakkatos, the archaeologist and passionate Odysseist, whom I encountered by pure chance last year in Ithaca at the end of my own odyssey [see this blog, An Odyssey in the Year of the Plague – 13: 29 September - 4 October 2020].

We met this time at a café near the Acropolis, and Andronikos spoke for the best part of two-and-a-half hours about his hopes for Ithaca to start making the most of its Homeric heritage.

Much needs to be done. The archaeological site of the Palace of Odysseus must be secured and made visitor-friendly, hundreds of still unsorted artefacts have to be put on display, and the island needs a new cultural centre focused on the importance of The Odyssey to the whole world.

This is the message of Andronikos – a modern-day Homer who seems capable of singing the praises of Odysseus forever. He didn't even take a break for a second cup of tea or a snack – "I can't eat when I am being passionate," he explained. "I am a machine!"

He may be a machine but he also has a huge heart – a truly great man and a real Ithacan hero.

An Odyssey in the Second Year of the Plague – Payback at the Acropolis

 

And so to Athens... which I have visited many times over the past 40 years... but not since the awful mistake known as Brexit.

A small reminder of what the British have done – and of course they don't enjoy a good reputation here in relation to the Parthenon and the cultural treasure purloined by Elgin – was provided by staff at the Acropolis Museum.

People as old as me get half-price entry there: €5 instead of €10. To get my discount I was asked to provide ID. I handed over my passport and was about to get my reduction when a supervisor appeared and intervened.

She told the ticket seller – and the ticket seller told me – that there was now no discount for the British since they were no longer in the EU. I asked futilely whether it made any difference that I hadn't voted for Brexit...

It didn't of course. And I paid my €10. I fear the cost of Brexit will go on increasing – on so many levels.

An Odyssey in the Second Year of the Plague – The Big One

 

Pera Pigadi Bay  ©Jane Cochrane

This was the toughest of the walks on Ithaca – in fact it was also a large part climbing, and a small part mountaineering.

That's me pictured on the beach at Pera Pigadi Bay before setting off to the top of the crag far above, which is known as the Korakos Petra.

It has been convincingly argued that this was the route taken by Odysseus's son, Telemachus, when he returned to Ithaca from trying to find out what had happened to his long-absent dad.

Last week locals were saying that this ascent could no longer be done. But I am glad to say that they were proved wrong.

If you're wondering why I'm not giving much more detail about this and the other walks I've been helping to research on Ithaca, it's because all will be revealed when Jane Cochrane's new book, Walking in the Footsteps of Odysseus on Ithaca, is published – hopefully later in 2021.

An Odyssey in the Second Year of the Plague – A Farewell to Ithaca

 

The man himself – Odysseus

This past week on Ithaca has been intense, with eight great walks completed... following in the footsteps of Odysseus... and Homer.

The island, as always it seems, has been filled with magic... from the touristy (yes, there are some tourists!) and boaty bustle of Vathi in the south to the more rustic and peaceful Stavros, Frikes and Kioni in the north.

There are no cases of covid... yet Ithacans have no problem continuing to wear masks in shops and offices. And why anyone would have to go into quarantine returning from here to the virus-stricken UK is beyond me. The other way round would make more sense.

Next stop is Athens for a reunion with archaeologist Andronikos Sakkatos [see this blog, An Odyssey in the Year of the Plague – 13: 29 September - 4 October 2020] to get an update on what the future holds for the site of the Palace of Odysseus.

An Odyssey in the Second Year of the Plague – Blood on the Tracks

 

Ithaca 2021

Walking on Ithaca is a pleasure that does not come without pain... particularly when one is following the paths less trodden.

At the end of my odyssey in 2020 I was left with my legs badly cut – from walking on an Ithacan path that had been seriously blocked by trees blown down in a cyclone [see this blog, An Odyssey in the Year of the Plague – 13: 29 September - 4 October 2020]. The agony by a hundred cuts came courtesy of the briars and undergrowth that I was forced to make my way through, off-piste.

I was more than happy to return to Ithaca... but I never wanted to repeat that particular experience. However, after following a less well-walked path that petered out into thick forest and bush... I've just done exactly the same. And my legs are covered in bloody scratches – bloody painful scratches, in fact.

Maybe this time I will learn my lesson.

Ithaca 2021

An Odyssey in the Second Year of the Plague – One More U-Turn

Bust of Odysseus in Stavros, Ithaca

 

It's wonderfully surreal to be back in Ithaca and visiting the site of the Palace of Odysseus.

I gambled on things taking a turn for the better while I was here: i.e. that Greece would go from amber to green.

But against all the odds – and after 18 months of refusing to do so – the UK government appears to have acted sensibly... and turned Portugal from green to amber, thus quashing hopes of Greece and Spain getting some sort of reprieve.

Will I be doomed to roam the Mediterranean until at length the gods decide to allow me to return home?