An Odyssey in the Second Year of the Plague – I'm with Joan Collins

I don't have that much in common with Joan Collins... But both of us do seem to have had run-ins with what she complains of in the Daily Mail as the "Covid Stasi".

I know what she means. I started my 10-days of quarantine on 24 June and soon had a phone call from someone telling me all about quarantine – i.e. what I already knew. They told me that the information in the phone call would be shared with "other bodies" and was I ok with that?

"Which other bodies?"

"I don't know. But you can find out on the Home Office website."

"But that would be a bit late... since I would have to do that after this call..."

"Er..."

"Look let's go ahead."

"I just have to ask you a couple of questions."

"Ok but I am busy working. Can we do it quickly?"

Four questions later...

"Er, you said a couple of questions... That's already four. How many more of them are there? I have told you I'm busy..."

She said nothing further and hung up.

On Day 3, a Saturday, I was woken around 9am by a man knocking at my door. I half-opened it to find a man with a mask half-on, half-off his face, saying he was from Track and Trace and did I have photo-ID. I explained that I had literally just got out of bed and that I was completely naked. Obviously I did not have photo-ID to hand. He then disappeared from view, saying nothing.

"Are you still there?" I asked.

He reappeared.

"I'm just reporting what you have said," he said.

"So have we done?"

"Yes."

I phoned 119 to complain about the way this whole thing had been handled and was kept hanging on for 45 minutes before speaking to someone. They apologised and said that it shouldn't have been handled like this and it wouldn't happen again.

On Day 5, it happened again. Except this time the knock at the door came at just after 8am – and again it woke me up.

It was another man and this time wearing no mask on his face at all (instead he had it round his neck).

I asked who he was. He did not give me his name or show any identification (like the previous one) but said he was from Track and Trace. I asked him why he wasn't wearing his mask. He said he didn't need to. This was despite the fact that he was inside my block of flats. 

I told him that I was quarantining and that he should put on his mask straightaway, otherwise I could not talk to him. He told me again that he did not need to wear a mask, and demanded to see photo-ID. I told him that I was stark naked as I had just got out of bed and that I could not deal with him if he did not put on his mask. He did not put on his mask and instead said that he would report me for not being at home – when I clearly was at home.

I then called 119 yet again. I got through fairly quickly, explained what I wanted to complain about and was asked to hold – for a long time. Eventually the call handler came back and said he had spoken to his manager and that I would be reported to the local authority. I tried to speak further and he hung up on me... this seems to be a fairly standard modus operandi at 119.

Undeterred, I called 119 again and this time got a sympathetic call handler who said this shouldn't have been handled like this and that the person knocking on my door should have worn a mask. She apologised and gave me an email for the Department of Health so that I could make an official complaint.

I immediately wrote to the Department of Health, pointing out that this behaviour was totally unacceptable and mentioning that, unlike the recently departed Secretary of State for Health, I had been abiding by the rules. I also asked: how can Track and Trace be employing people who don't follow the most basic rules of hygiene? And how can such people be allowed to threaten someone who IS abiding by the rules with being lied about to the authorities?

As yet – surprisingly – there has been no response.

For many reasons I need to pass my two quarantine covid tests and get back to doing what I do. I can't afford to have some unmasked (and also rude and aggressive) quasi-Stasi forcing me to have a doorstep conversation with them.

Dame Joan, I am with you all the way on this...